TV Tuesday: Shared Memories

[yourlibrarian]

Do particular shows make you think of people you know? Or have friendships been centered on watching shows together?

Comments

[author_by_night]

I've certainly made friends through show fandoms!

There are a few characters who remind me a bit or even a lot of people I know. And in one case, it was less the characters and more a relationship. The show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
portrays a friendship that is very codependent (Rebecca and Paula), and I realized I was in a very similar situation, although we were kind of both the Paula and both the Rebecca. Sadly, I'm no longer friends with this person, though less because of the codependency and more because we're very different people.

[yourlibrarian]

I had to chuckle when I read this because I also remember thinking that Rebecca reminded me rather strongly of a friend. I kept trying to get her to watch the show but she never did.

[feurioo]

Boston Legal: My friend was the Alan Shore to my Denny Crane. We were flamingos. (Watch this utterly perfect fanvid if you want to know more!) Unfortunately, she died over a decade ago. I put a flamingo plushie in her grave and have mine still sitting here with me.

[yourlibrarian]

That is a fun fanvid! Definitely sells the ship. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, it sounds like you must have had a great friendship.

[china_shop]

Aw, I loved Alan and Denny as their own little flamboyance of flamingos. I'm so sorry about your friend.

[haunted_cherries]

I remember there was an old friend group I had where we used to watch Lost together!! We were all wildly obsessed with the show while it was running, but sadly we all kinda went our separate ways after the show ended (mostly due to a lot of in-group drama that wasn't salvageable, sadly)! I still think back fondly on those times and just how WILD of a show Lost was. xD

[yourlibrarian]

That's too bad that things came apart but I can imagine it was fun while it lasted.

I have a friend I used to watch 2 shows with. She developed dementia and we lost touch, after which I dropped one of the shows. I still think of emailing her when I watch the other.

[haunted_cherries]

INDEED IT WAS!! I still look bad on those times with fond memories!! ; u;

And I know it's easier said than done, but it wouldn't hurt to reach out, even if she has dementia! You guys could have a chance to relive those memories together! :D

(As someone who took care of a family member who had dementia until their passing, it's definitely understandable if it would be a lot for you emotionally and cause some discomfort, so definitely no pressure if you aren't comfortable reaching out to her!)

[yourlibrarian]

Oh no, that's not the issue -- it's that she lived across the country from me and no longer responded to phone calls, emails, etc. Later when I followed up with the facility she was in they told me she had moved out but they didn't know where.

I've also had family members with it and unfortunately at a certain point they become pretty unresponsive though it does tend to be a thing that comes and goes so that there are periods where they can interact.

[haunted_cherries]

OHHHHHHH OK, totally fair!! Hope you guys will be able to reconnect one day!! ; u;

[rogueslayer452]

The soap opera, Passions, was introduced to me in junior high by someone who I considered a friend at the time. Although that friendship quickly came and went (through circumstance, we only were friends due to being in the same class together) I still watched the soap and every time I remember it, I am reminded of how I got into it and kind of associate it with her.

A lot of my online friendships started because of certain shows that we mutually watched and enjoyed talking with each other about.

[yourlibrarian]

Yes, I think that does tend to happen in fannish circles. I wonder if it happens less now due to the way viewing is so staggered, yet at the same time fandom connections have become so expanded.

[china_shop]

Oof, this is a timely question for me. I had weekly tv-watching dates with a good friend for over 20 years. We started with My So-Called Life, watched a range of SF/F (Farscape and Continuum spring to mind), comedies/dramadies (e.g., Boston Legal, Gilmore Girls) and some heavier stuff (Deadwood). Then we discovered Kdramas together and got super into the Kdrama romance genre. That friend died just over a year ago, and I still really miss the companionship of watching stuff with him.

I have another friend with whom I used to have Kdrama dates pre-pandemic, and we're trying to re-start that this year, but her work situation has got very busy so we'll see if it works out.

(My favourite form of socialising is two or three people watching TV together. It's companionable without requiring a lot of effort. ;-p)

[yourlibrarian]

I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. It can be bittersweet to see shared shows again, both nostalgic for the fun but also feeling the loss.

[china_shop]

Thanks. Yeah, bittersweet is exactly it.

[delphi]

Definitely the case for a whole lot of TV shows I've been in the fandom for, but beyond that, Beauty and the Beast (the 1987-1990 one) and Forever Knight were appointment viewing for me and my mother when I was young, and I always think of her when I think about those shows. Also, Clone High makes me think of my high school friends, and passing episodes around by CD-ROM. :D

[yourlibrarian]

I remember watching several shows via videotapes sent to me from friends or relatives!

[delphi]

Ha, I did that too! (Although mostly with fandom friends.) I'd tape episodes of things like X-Files, Due South and its various six degrees canons, Stargate, Once a Thief, Forever Knight, and so on, which ran in reruns more often in Canada since they were filmed here, and swap them for American and British exclusives. It wasn't the most convenient way of watching foreign media, but man was it exciting to see different commercials, and surprise extra episodes of different shows that had been used to fill up the rest of the tape, or even fanvids or other fanmade compilations.

[yourlibrarian]

Mine were less interesting because they were just domestic recordings (done because our cable provider didn't carry SyFy for example, or at one time I could not get the UPN network locally). But I saw examples of this with a friend's swapped videos and it was always intriguing 🤓

[jo]

Do particular shows make you think of people you know?

The closest I come to an answer for this one is that my youngest sister bears a striking resemblance to Claire Danes. So if I see Danes in something -- which I really haven't since Homeland, it reminds me of my sister.

Or have friendships been centered on watching shows together?

The closest I ever came to this was a million years ago when Survivor (the reality show) first started up. I was a regular on old DelphiForums, and on one of the forums I frequented, a bunch of us discovered somehow that we were all watching this new reality show, so we ended up discussing the episodes on the forum. That lasted for maybe the first couple of seasons of the show, but then forum shit happened, as it does on forums. Otherwise, I've never had a friend-TV thing going on.

[yourlibrarian]

I'm not sure I have seen people who resemble ones I know, but I have very often seen actors who remind me of other actors -- many times I could swear they were related!

[krakendelsur]

I became best friends with someone in 6th grade who also loved The Simpsons. We would talk about the new episodes at school the next day, and we would watch the DVD sets (sometimes with the commentary on) at her house.

[yourlibrarian]

I miss commentaries! Granted a lot of them were pro forma, created more to sell DVDs as having extras than because the participants seemed particularly interested in discussing the shows. But they could also be super interesting about the writing process or sometimes fun to hear about behind the scenes things happening.

[krakendelsur]

I miss commentaries too! So much 😭
I really loved hearing all the chatter and banter between the participants, getting to hear what inspired certain scenes and lines, or what certain scenes/storylines could/might have been.

[tinny]

I have lots of friends who I did/do watchalongs with, and of course those shows still remind me of them.

The most fannish thing I ever did with my best friend (before there was the internet) was watch the Australian show Country Practice - we'd each watch it at home and then write pop quizzes on the latest episode to each other by snail mail. Oh good ol times! That show is of course now indelibly connected with memories of my friend.

Of course, less outlandishly I guess, I tend to watch shows with dynamics that remind me of myself and my relationships, and then of course I tend to associate those characters with myself and my loved ones. (The Librarians were an extreme example of that, they even inspired me to write because it was so easy, the match was so good.)

[yourlibrarian]

The pop quiz letters sound so fun! It makes me think how much has changed in terms of the speed at which fandom moves.

[apachefirecat]

The first live action show of which I have memories was Golden Girls. It remains a go-to comfort show for me to this day, but some of my earliest, actually good (don't have too many of those from those years) memories were of watching the show with my Great Aunt Lois who babysat me between the ages of around 4 and 9, when she passed away.

The Bold and Beautiful and General Hospital remind me of my other Great Aunt, Georgia, as Aunt Lois and I would usually go to her house, right around the corner, for dinner each day. She was more of a wrestling fan (funny story, if you can imagine an old, very Christian lady screaming at the TV for the wrestlers to *ahem* get each other), but these two soaps tended to always be playing whenever we'd go for lunch.

My mother/molestor and I watched many shows together, and one of the ways she got to me was through writing together... This is why, to this day, I still cannot comfortably watch Xena, Pirates of the Caribbean (not a show, I know, but still), or Supernatural.

My Father, on the other hand, very rarely watched anything with anyone, or came out of his books or cups for any reason. But I cannot think of Nascar without thinking of him, or Walker Texas Ranger. He would also watch Martial Law and The Magnificent Seven with us. He was a huge Chuck Norris fans, even reading many of his Shamanism books, and was a Mag. 7 fan long before my favorite edition was even an idea. He would also watch Dr. Quinn, but I don't have very many memories of those nights. And I DO have some very vague memories of him occasionally watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Boy Meets World (he was a Topanga fan) with us. Actually, as I write this, I am remembering other comments he had to make on the girls on USA High, California Dreams, and Saved by the Bell... And if I'm being honest, I now suddenly find myself with many more questions as to why he did NOT try to do anything about all my mother put me through...

But moving forward, as others have said, most of my online friendships have started because of a TV show, particularly Magnificent Seven, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Charmed. I did have a long friendship with a guy who, sadly, suddenly went weird on me that started because of Xena, and I can never think of Charmed for very long without recalling my own Phoebe (I was her Piper) and missing her. We've talked on rare occasions, but she always wanted a gender change and it -- didn't go well -- so she communicates very little...

The missing friendships do hurt, as do some of the other memories, and I find that although it can make a program more comforting with those memories, it can also at times make it harder to watch certain series or even just certain episodes of certain series...

[yourlibrarian]

Yes, that's a flipside of many of the happy memories of shows, is that sometimes the memories they bring out are things that are triggering in some way. I'm sorry to hear about yours.

Your post did remind me suddenly of something I'd almost forgotten. I was visiting relatives in Brasil when I was a tween and just down the road from my aunt's house was a neighbor who was watching Escrava Isaura. Because of the area reception was poor and so few people bothered with a television. But she did get broadcasts well enough that I'd go over to her house to watch episodes with her. Of course given how long telenovelas were I only ever got a small segment of the story but I suddenly had an image of white lace curtains and realized she must have had them in her windows.

[apachefirecat]

<3 I can NOT see my Aunt Lois' face pretty much at all -- but I CAN still see her chair and smell her cigarette smoke from those evenings we spent watching Golden Girls...